Chapter VIII (part 2 of 6)

“This day the woman mentioned in my journal of December 22, made a public profession of her faith. She has discovered a very sweet and heavenly frame of mind from time to time, since her first reception of comfort. One morning in particular, she came to see me, discovering an unusual joy and satisfaction in her countenance; and when I inquired into the reason of it, she replied, ‘that God had made her feel that it was right for him to do what he pleased with all things; and that it would be right if he should cast her husband and son both into hell; and she saw it was so right for God to do what he pleased with them, that she could not but rejoice in God even if he should send them into hell;’ though it was apparent she loved them dearly. She moreover inquired whether I was not sent to preach to the Indians by some good people a great way off. I replied, ‘Yes, by the good people in Scotland.’ She answered, ‘that her heart loved those good people so the evening before, that she could scarce help praying for them all night, her heart would go to God for them.’ Thus, the blessing of those ready to perish, is like to come upon those pious persons who have communicated of their substance to the propagation of the Gospel.

Lord’s day, Jan. 12.—“Preached from Isaiah, 55:6. The word of God seemed to fall upon the audience with a divine weight and influence, and evidently appeared to be ‘not the word of man.’ The blessed Spirit, I am persuaded, accompanied what was spoken to the hearts of many; so that there was a powerful revival of conviction in numbers who were under spiritual exercises before.

“Toward night catechised in my usual method. Near the close of my discourse there appeared a great concern, and much affection in the audience; which increased while I continued to invite them to come to an all-sufficient Redeemer for eternal salvation. The Spirit of God seems, from time to time, to be striving with souls here. They are so frequently and repeatedly roused, that they seem unable at present to lull themselves asleep.

Jan. 13.—“Was visited by several persons under deep concern for their souls; one of whom was newly awakened. It is a most agreeable work to treat with souls who are solicitously inquiring ‘what they shall do to be saved.’ As we are never to be ‘weary in well doing,’ so the obligation seems to be peculiarly strong when the work is so very desirable. Yet I must say, my health is so much impaired, and my spirits so wasted with my labors and solitary manner of living; there being no human creature in the house with me; that their repeated and almost incessant applications to me for help and direction, are sometimes exceedingly burdensome, and so exhaust my spirits that I become fit for nothing at all, entirely unable to prosecute my business, sometimes for days together. What contributes much toward this difficulty is, that I am obliged to spend much time in communicating a little matter to them; there being oftentimes many things to be premised before I can speak directly to what I principally aim at; which things would readily be taken for granted where there was a competency of doctrinal knowledge.

Jan. 14.—“Spent some time in private conference with my people, and found some disposed to take comfort, as I thought, upon slight grounds. They are now generally awakened, and it is become so disgraceful, as well as terrifying to the conscience, to be destitute of religion, that they are in imminent danger of taking up with an appearance of grace, rather than to live under the fear and disgrace of an unregenerated state.

Jan. 18.—“Prosecuted my catechetical method of discoursing. There appeared a great solemnity, and some considerable affection in the assembly. This method of instruction I find very profitable. When I first entered upon it I was exercised with fears, lest my discourses would unavoidably be so doctrinal that they would tend only to enlighten the head, but not to affect the heart. But the event proved quite otherwise; for these exercises have hitherto been remarkably blessed in the latter, as well as the former respects.

Lord’s day, Jan. 19.—“Discoursed to my people from Isaiah, 55:7. Toward night catechised in my ordinary method; and this appeared to be a powerful season of grace among us. Numbers were much affected. Convictions were powerfully revived, and Christians refreshed and strengthened; and one weary, heavy laden soul, I have abundant reason to hope, brought to true rest and solid comfort in Christ; who afterward gave me such an account of God’s dealing with his soul as was abundantly satisfying, as well as refreshing to me.

“He told me he had often heard me say that persons must see and feel themselves utterly helpless and undone—that they must be emptied of a dependence upon themselves, and of all hope of saving themselves, in order to their coming to Christ for salvation. He had long been striving after this view of things; supposing that this would be an excellent frame of mind, to be thus emptied of a dependence upon his own goodness; that God would have respect to this frame, would then be well pleased with him, and bestow eternal life upon him. But when he came to feel himself in this helpless, undone condition, he found it quite contrary to all his thoughts and expectations; so that it was not the same frame, nor indeed any thing like the frame after which he had been seeking. Instead of its being a good frame of mind, he now found nothing but badness in himself, and saw it was for ever impossible for him to make himself any better. He wondered, he said, that he had ever hoped to mend his own heart. He was amazed that he had never before seen that it was utterly impossible for him, by all his contrivances and endeavors, to do any thing in that way, since the matter now appeared to him in so clear a light. Instead of imagining now that God would be pleased with him for the sake of this frame of mind, and this view of his undone estate, he saw clearly, and felt that it would be just with God to send him to eternal misery; and that there was no goodness in what he then felt; for he could not help seeing that he was naked, sinful, and miserable, and that there was nothing in such a sight to deserve God’s love or pity.

“He saw these things in a manner so clear and convincing, that it seemed to him, he said, he could convince every body of their utter inability to help themselves, and their unworthiness of any help from God. In this frame of mind he came to public worship this evening; and while I was inviting sinners to come to Christ naked and empty, without any goodness of their own to recommend them to his acceptance, then he thought with himself that he had often tried to come and give up his heart to Christ, and he used to hope that some time or other he should be able to do so; but now he was convinced that he could not, and it seemed utterly vain for him ever to try any more; and he could not, he said, find a heart to make any further attempt, because he saw it would signify nothing at all; nor did he now hope for a better opportunity or more ability hereafter, as he had formerly done, because he saw and was fully convinced that his own strength would for ever fail.

While he was musing in this manner he saw, he said, with his heart, (which is a common phrase among them,) something that was unspeakably good and lovely, and what he had never seen before; and ‘this stole away his heart whether he would or no.’ He did not, he said, know what it was he saw. He did not say ‘this is Jesus Christ;’ but it was such glory and beauty as he never saw before. He did not now give away his heart, as he had formerly intended and attempted to do; but it went away of itself after that glory he then discovered. He used to make a bargain with Christ to give up his heart to him that he might have eternal life for it. But now he thought nothing about himself or what would become of him hereafter; but was pleased, and his mind wholly taken up with the unspeakable excellency of what he then beheld. After some time he was wonderfully pleased with the way of salvation by Christ; so that it seemed unspeakably desirable to be saved altogether by the mere free grace of God in him. The consequence of this exercise is, that he appears to retain a sense and relish of divine things, and to maintain a life of seriousness and true religion.

Jan. 28.—“The Indians in these parts have, in times past, run themselves in debt by their excessive drinking; and some have taken the advantage of them, and put them to trouble and charge, by arresting some of them; whereby it was supposed their hunting lands in great part were much endangered, and might speedily be taken from them. Being sensible that they could not subsist together in these parts, in order to their being a Christian congregation, if these lands should be taken, which was thought very likely; I thought it my duty to use my utmost endeavors to prevent so unhappy an event. Having acquainted the gentlemen concerned in this mission with the affair, according to the best information I could get of it, they thought it proper to expend the money which they had been and still were collecting for the religious interest of the Indians, at least a part of it, for discharging their debts, and securing these lands, that there might be no entanglement lying upon them to hinder the settlement and hopeful enlargement of a Christian congregation of Indians in these parts. Having received orders from them, I answered in behalf of the Indians, eighty-two pounds, five shillings, New-Jersey currency, at eight shillings per ounce; and so prevented the danger or difficulty in this respect.

“As God has wrought a wonderful work of grace among these Indians, and now inclines others from remote places to fall in among them almost continually; and as he has opened a door for the prevention of the difficulty now mentioned, which seemed greatly to threaten their religious interests as well as worldly comforts; it is to be hoped that he designs to establish a church for himself among them, and hand down true religion to their posterity.

Jan. 30.—“Preached to the Indians from John, 3:16, 17. There was a solemn attention and some affection visible in the audience; especially several persons who had long been concerned for their souls, seemed afresh excited and engaged in seeking after an interest in Christ. One, with much concern, afterward told me ‘his heart was so pricked with my preaching he knew not where to turn or what to do.’

Jan. 31.—“This day the person whom I had made choice of and engaged for a school master among the Indians arrived among us, and was heartily welcomed by my people universally. Whereupon I distributed several dozen of primers among the children and young people.

1—“My schoolmaster entered upon his business among the Indians. He has generally about thirty children and young persons in his school in the day time, and about fifteen married people in the evening school. The number of married persons being less than it would be if they could be more constantly at home, and could spare time from their necessary employments for an attendance upon these instructions.

“In the evening catechised in my usual method. Toward the close of my discourse a surprising power seemed to attend the word, especially to some persons. One man considerably in years, who had been a remarkable drunkard, a conjurer and murderer, and was awakened some months before, was now brought to great extremity under his spiritual distress; so that he trembled for hours together, and apprehended himself just dropping into hell, without any power to rescue or relieve himself. Divers others appeared under great concern, as well as he, and solicitous to obtain a saving change.

Lord’s day, Feb. 2.—“Preached from John, 5:24, 25. There appeared, as usual, some concern and affection in the assembly. Toward night proceeded in my usual method of catechising. Observed my people more ready in answering the questions proposed to them than ever before. It is apparent they advance daily in doctrinal knowledge. But what is still more desirable, the Spirit of God is yet operating among them; whereby experimental as well as speculative knowledge is propagated in their minds.

Feb. 5.—“Discoursed to a considerable number of Indians in the evening; at which time numbers of them appeared much affected and melted with divine things.

Feb. 8.—“Spent a considerable part of the day in visiting my people from house to house, and conversing with them about their souls concerns. Many persons wept, while I discoursed to them, and appeared concerned for nothing so much as for an interest in the great Redeemer. In the evening catechised as usual. Divine truth made some impressions upon the audience; and were attended with an affectionate engagement of soul in some.

Lord’s day, Feb. 9.—“Discoursed to my people from the story of the blind man. Matt. 10:46-52. The word of God seemed weighty, and powerful upon the assembly at this time, and made considerable impressions upon many; several in particular, who have generally been remarkably stupid and careless under the means of grace, were now awakened, and wept affectionately. The most earnest attention, as well as tenderness and affection, appeared in the audience universally. Two persons publicly professed Christ.

“Toward night catechised. God made this a powerful season to some. There were many affected. Former convictions appeared to be powerfully revived. There was likewise one, who had been a vile drunkard, remarkably awakened. He appeared to be in great anguish of soul, wept, and trembled, and continued to do so till near midnight. There was also a poor heavy laden soul, who had been long under heavy distress, as constant and pressing as I ever saw, who was now brought to a comfortable calm, and seemed to be bowed and reconciled to the divine sovereignty, and told me she now felt and saw that it was right for God to do with her as he pleased; and that her heart felt pleased and satisfied it should be so; although of late she had often found her heart rise and quarrel with God because he would, if he pleased, send her to hell after all she had done. She added that the heavy burden she had lain under was now removed; that she had tried to recover her concern and distress again, fearing that the Spirit of God was departing from her, and would leave her wholly careless, but that she could not recover it; that she felt she never could do any thing to save herself, but must perish for ever if Christ did not do all for her; that she did not deserve he should help her; and that it would be right if he should leave her to perish. But Christ could save her though she could do nothing to save herself, &c. and here she seemed to rest.”

Forks of Delaware, February, 1746.

Lord’s day, Feb. 16.—“Knowing that numbers of the Indians in these parts were obstinately set against Christianity; and that some of them had refused to hear me preach in times past; I thought it might be proper and beneficial to the Christian interest here to have a number of my religious people from Crossweeksung with me, to converse with them about religious matters; hoping it might be a means to convince them of the truth and importance of Christianity, to see and hear some of their own nation discoursing of divine things, and manifesting earnest desires that others might be brought out of heathenish darkness, as themselves were. For this purpose I selected half a dozen of the most serious and intelligent of those Indians, and having brought them to the Forks of Delaware, I this day met with them and the Indians of this place. Numbers of the latter probably could not have been prevailed upon to attend this meeting, had it not been for these religious Indians who accompanied me hither, and preached to them. Some of those who had in times past been extremely averse to Christianity, now behaved soberly; and some others laughed and mocked. However, the word of God fell with such weight and power, that numbers seemed to be stunned, and expressed a willingness to hear me again of these matters.

“Afterward prayed with, and made an address to the white people present; and could not but observe some visible effects of the word, such as tears and sobs among them. After public worship, spent some time, and took pains to convince those that mocked of the truth and importance of what I had been insisting upon; and so endeavored to awaken their attention to divine truth. Had reason to think, from what I observed then and afterward, that my endeavors took considerable effect upon one of the worst of them.

“Those few Indians then present, who used to be my hearers in these parts, some having removed hence to Crossweeksung, seemed somewhat kindly disposed toward me, and glad to see me again. They had been so much attacked, however, by some of the opposing Pagans, that they were almost ashamed or afraid to manifest their friendship.

Feb. 17.—“After having spent much time in discoursing to the Indians in their respective houses, I got them together and repeated and inculcated what I had before taught them. Afterward discoursed to them from Acts, 8:5-8. A divine influence seemed to attend the word. Several of the Indians here appeared to be somewhat awakened, and manifested earnest tears and sobs. My people of Crossweeksung continued with them day and night repeating and inculcating the truths I had taught them; and sometimes prayed and sung psalms among them; discoursing with each other in their hearing, of the great things God had done for them and for the Indians from whence they came. This seemed, as my people told me, to have more effect upon them than when they directed their discourse immediately to them.

Feb. 18.—“Preached to an assembly of Irish people, nearly fifteen miles distant from the Indians.

Feb. 19.—“Preached to the Indians again, after having spent considerable time in conversing with them more privately. There appeared a great solemnity, and some concern and affection among the Indians belonging to these parts, as well as a sweet melting among those who came with me. Numbers of the Indians here seemed to have their prejudices and aversion to Christianity removed; and appeared well disposed, and inclined to hear the word of God.

Feb. 20.—“Preached to a small assembly of High Dutch people, who had seldom heard the Gospel preached, and were some of them, at least, very ignorant; but numbers of them have lately been put upon an inquiry after the way of Salvation with thoughtfulness. They gave wonderful attention; and some of them were much affected under the word, and afterward said, as I was informed, that they never had been so much enlightened about the way of Salvation in their whole lives before. They requested me to tarry with them, or come again and preach to them. It grieved me that I could not comply with their request. I could not but be affected with their circumstances; for they were as ‘sheep not having a shepherd,’ and some of them appeared under some degree of distress for sin; standing in peculiar need of the assistance of an experienced spiritual guide.

Feb. 21.—“Preached to a number of people, many of them Low Dutch. Several of the fore-mentioned High Dutch people attended the sermon, though eight or ten miles distant from their houses. Numbers of the Indians also belonging to these parts came of their own accord with my people from Crossweeksung, to the meeting. There were two in particular who, though the last Sabbath they opposed and ridiculed Christianity, now behaved soberly. May the present encouraging appearances continue!

Feb. 22.—“Preached to the Indians. They appeared more free from prejudice and more cordial to Christianity than before; and some of them appeared affected with divine truth.

Lord’s day, Feb. 23.—“Preached to the Indians from John, 6:35-37. After public service discoursed particularly with several of them, and invited them to go down to Crossweeksung and tarry there at least for some time; knowing that they would then be free from the scoffs and temptations of the opposing Pagans, as well as in the way of hearing divine truths discoursed of, both in public and private. Obtained a promise of some of them that they would speedily pay us a visit, and attend some farther instructions. They seemed to be considerably enlightened, and much freed from their prejudices against Christianity. But it is much to be feared that their prejudices will revive again, unless they can enjoy the means of instruction here, or be removed where they may be under such advantages, and out of the way of their Pagan acquaintances.

Crossweeksung, March, 1746.

March 1.—“Catechised in my ordinary method. Was pleased and refreshed to see them answer the questions proposed to them with such remarkable readiness, discretion, and knowledge. Toward the close of my discourse divine truth made considerable impression upon the audience, and produced tears and sobs in some under concern; and more especially a sweet and humble melting in several, who, I have reason to hope, were truly gracious.

Lord’s day, March 2.—“Preached from John, 15:16. The assembly appeared not so lively in their attention as usual, nor so much affected with divine truth in general as has been common. Some of my people who went up to the Forks of the Delaware with me, being now returned, were accompanied by two of the Indians belonging to the Forks who had promised me a speedy visit. May the Lord meet with them here. They can scarcely go into a house now but they will meet with Christian conversation, whereby it is to be hoped they may be both instructed and awakened.

“Discoursed to the Indians again in the afternoon, and observed among them some animation and engagedness in divine service, though not equal to what has often appeared here. I know of no assembly of Christians where there seems to be so much of the presence of God, where brotherly love so much prevails, and where I should take so much delight in the public worship of God in general, as in my own congregation; although not more than nine months ago, they were worshipping devils and dumb idols under the power of Pagan darkness and superstition. Amazing change this! effected by nothing less than divine power and grace. This is the doing of the Lord, and it is justly marvellous in our eyes.

March 5.—“Spent some time just at evening in prayer, singing and discoursing to my people upon divine things; and observed some agreeable tenderness and affection among them. Their present situation is so compact and commodious, that they are easily and quickly called together with only the sound of a conch-shell, (a shell like that of a periwinkle,) so that they have frequent opportunities of attending religious exercises publicly. This seems to be a great means, under God, of keeping alive the impression of divine things in their minds.

March 8.—“Catechised in the evening. My people answered the questions proposed to them well. I can perceive their knowledge in religion increases daily. And, what is still more desirable, the divine influence, which has been so remarkable among them, appears still to continue, in some good measure. The divine presence seemed to be in the assembly this evening.

“Some, who I have good reason to think are Christians indeed, were melted with a sense of divine goodness and their own barrenness and ingratitude, and seemed to hate themselves, as one of them afterward expressed it. Convictions also appeared to be revived in several instances; and divine truth was attended with such influence upon the assembly in general, that it might justly be called an evening of divine power.

Lords’ day, March 9.—“Preached from Luke, 10:38-42. The word of God was attended with power and energy upon the audience. Numbers were affected, and concerned to obtain the one thing needful. Several, who have given good evidence of being truly gracious, were much affected with a sense of their want of spirituality, and saw the need they stood in of growing in grace. The greater part of those who had been under any impressions of divine things in times past, seemed now to have those impressions revived.

“In the afternoon proposed to have catechised in my usual method: but, while we were engaged in the first prayer in the Indian language, as usual, a great part of the assembly was so much moved and affected with divine things that I thought it seasonable and proper to omit the proposing of questions for that time, and to insist upon the most practical truths. I accordingly did so; making a further improvement of the passage of Scripture on which I had discoursed in the former part of the day. There appeared to be a powerful divine influence in the congregation. Several who, as I have reason to think, are truly pious, were so deeply affected with a sense of their own barrenness, and their unworthy treatment of the blessed Redeemer, that they looked on him as pierced by themselves, and mourned, yea, some of them were in bitterness, as for a first-born.

“Some poor awakened sinners, also, appeared to be in anguish of soul to obtain an interest in Christ; so that there was a great mourning in the assembly: many heavy groans, sobs, and tears! and one or two, newly come among us, were considerably awakened.

“Methinks it would have refreshed the heart of any, who truly love Zion’s interests, to have been in the midst of this divine influence, and seen the effects of it upon saints and sinners. The place of divine worship appeared both solemn and sweet; and was so endeared by a display of the divine presence and grace that those who had any relish for divine things could not but cry, ‘How amiable are thy tabernacles, O Lord of Hosts!’ After public worship was over, numbers came to my house, where we sang and discoursed of divine things; and the presence of God seemed here also to be in the midst of us.

“While we were singing there was one individual, the woman mentioned in my journal of February 9 who, I may venture to say, if I may be allowed to say so much of any person I ever saw, was ‘filled with joy unspeakable and full of glory;’ and could not but burst forth in prayer and praises to God before us all, with many tears; crying, sometimes in English and sometimes in Indian, ‘O blessed Lord! do come, do come! O do take me away; do let me die, and go to Jesus Christ! I am afraid if I live I shall sin again. O do let me die now! O dear Jesus, do come! I cannot stay, I cannot stay! O how can I live in this world; do take my soul away from this sinful place! O let me never sin any more! O what shall I do, what shall I do, dear Jesus. O dear Jesus!’ In this ecstacy she continued some time, uttering these and similar expressions incessantly. The grand argument she used with God to take her away immediately was, that ‘if she lived, she should sin against him.’ When she had a little recovered herself, I asked her if Christ was now sweet to her soul? Whereupon, turning to me with tears in her eyes, and with all the tokens of deep humility I ever saw in any person, she said, ‘I have many times heard you speak of the goodness and the sweetness of Christ, that he was better than all the world. But O I knew nothing what you meant. I never believed you, I never believed you! But now I know it is true;’ or words to that effect. I answered, ‘And do you see enough in Christ for the greatest of sinners?’ She replied, ‘O enough, enough for all the sinners in the world, if they would but come.’ When I asked her, ‘If she could not tell them of the goodness of Christ.’ Turning herself about to some Christless souls, who stood by, and were much affected, she said, ‘O there is enough in Christ for you if you would but come. O strive, strive to give up your hearts to him,’ &c. On hearing something of the glory of heaven mentioned, that there was no sin in that world; she again fell into the same ecstacy of joy and desire of Christ’s coming; repeating her former expressions, ‘O dear Lord, do let me go! O what shall I do; what shall I do. I want to go to Christ. I cannot live. O do let me die,’ &c.